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  The Male Stages Of Life

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AGE        DRINK

17         beer

25         vodka

35         scotch

48         double scotch

66         Maalox



SEDUCTION LINE

17         My parents are away for the weekend.

25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.

35         My fiancee is away for the weekend.

48         My wife is away for the weekend.

66         My second wife is dead.



FAVORITE SPORT



17         sex

25         sex

35         sex

48         sex

66         napping



DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE



17         "tongue"

25         "breakfast"

35         "She didn't set back my therapy."

48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."

66         "Got home alive."



FAVORITE FANTASY

17         getting to third

25         airplane sex

35         menage a trois

48         taking the company public

66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave



HOUSE PET

17         roaches

25         stoned-out college roommate

35         Irish setter

48         children from his first marriage

66         Barbi



WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17         25

25         35

35         48

48         66

66         17