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How To Dump Him
 
Men are often so wrapped up in their work, with their professions being such a large part of their personal identity, that when a woman wants to break up a relationship with a man, it helps if she uses the very same key words he uses on the job, words that he will understand clearly. 
If He Is A... 
Say To Him, "Our relationship has... 
armchair athlete without a job been shut out 45 to 0 with 18 turnovers.
astronomer been a black hole.
bartender been on the rocks.
boxer been K.O.'d.
bus driver reached the end of the line.
carpenter had a sinking foundation.
chemist  been under a fume hood for too long.
doctor been malpracticed.
economist been in a ten year recession.
electrician been short circuited.
engineer been miscalculated.
fireman been burned to the ground.
football player been fumbled at the one yard line.
geologist been taken for granite.
lawyer been given the death penalty.
mathematician been taken to the limit.
milkman gone sour.
miner gone bust.
opera star reached its grand finale.
personnel worker been terminated.
physicist lacked harmonic motion.
pilot lost power in all its engines.
policeman copped out
politician been impeached.
programmer been core dumped.
race car driver run its course.
sailor lost at sea.
soldier been wiped out.
teacher flunked out.
truck driver overturned on our highway of life.